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Marriage




What happens when you hear of another couple this year that is divorcing?  A couple that from the outside held hands, said sweet things and took adventures together.  A couple whose marriage you would have said you admired and wanted to replicate.  What does that mean?

For the 485th time it means that no one knows what's within the marriage other than the two people in it.  That's it.  

I'm saddened to see so many couples whose love and patience have withered.  I'm also sad to know that what's been going on inside has been painful and trying.  This breaking of a bond is neither good or bad.  It could be both.  Right now it's painful and sad.

Marriage to me is one of those things that I admire endurance.  It's certainly not easy.  Take patience, practiced kindness, listening when it's the last thing you possibly want to do and choosing to be together more than you want to run.  It is the joining of lives into one household, into decisions, often into a family of raising children.  It's not the process of losing oneself.  Yet this is possible.  Just not suggested.

Marriage is shared tears and laughter, giving up the last scoop of Blue Bell in the container for the other, choosing to go out when you want to stay in because the other just wants it more.  It's also being held when a loved one is in pain, not worrying what you look like after an hour of crying and also when trying on a pair of jeans you wore prior to quarantine.

Yes, it's patient, it's kind and all the other wise, simple things.  It's also gritty and worthy and a safe place to land.  It's all those things.  I'm grateful to be coming up on our 18th anniversary next month.  It's not easy, yet it's worth it - for us.

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